Grabbing Concord by the Balls
Kurtis White
Issue date: 2/3/10 Section: Sports
Please take off your hats and bow your heads. This week we are mourning the death of the career of a true icon in the game of golf.
The death of a career of a man that could drive a golf ball the length of his weight (300+ pounds), a man who severely wasted his talents on and off the course.
Here's to being your own worst enemy, here's to John Daly's career, you will be missed.
Ok, put your hats back on and dry those tears; there's no crying in golf.
Not true for John Daly unfortunately. In the second round at Torrey Pines, in a parking lot interview,
John Daly says, "I quit." Let's be honest John, it's about time. I was beginning to think that you were the type of person that didn't know when to call it quits.
We all know John isn't really going anywhere and all of us golfers have had our "I quit moments." I mean, I had one back in '07.
I actually wrote "free to a good home" on a piece of cardboard and left my clubs in front of the clubhouse back home. Of course, halfway to the 7-11, I had a moment of clarity and shouted, "What have I done!"
I did a u-turn in the road, had two police officers chasing me, who after stopping me and me telling them what I had done, they took their sun glasses off, put their heads down, shook them and said, "How could you? You don't even deserve to grip a six iron. Next time call us….We'll give you an escort."
When I got back to the clubhouse there they were. I jumped out of my car in a slow motion run, with a tear in my eye as I was reunited with my beloved clubs, whispering softly, "I'll never leave you again."
Unfortunately for my clubs, I lied because the next day I threw my pitching wedge in the swamp. May he rest in peace.
My point being, if you love golf as much as I do then you know what I'm talking about. There's one obvious truth to come out of this: John Daly propaganda- televised golf needs John Daly.
We are tired of the same 'ole clean cut family man images that the PGA makes its players abide by (with exceptions to Woods).
We need John Daly passing out drunk behind hooters, which is even funnier considering Hooters is his biggest sponsor, and John Daly you need golf. Who else is going to pay for all the alcohol you consume and your gambling debts?
That being said, we'll conclude today's ceremony with a quote of wisdom from Mr. Daly:"I've learned you can't drink whisky and play golf," truly, truly inspirational.
The death of a career of a man that could drive a golf ball the length of his weight (300+ pounds), a man who severely wasted his talents on and off the course.
Here's to being your own worst enemy, here's to John Daly's career, you will be missed.
Ok, put your hats back on and dry those tears; there's no crying in golf.
Not true for John Daly unfortunately. In the second round at Torrey Pines, in a parking lot interview,
John Daly says, "I quit." Let's be honest John, it's about time. I was beginning to think that you were the type of person that didn't know when to call it quits.
We all know John isn't really going anywhere and all of us golfers have had our "I quit moments." I mean, I had one back in '07.
I actually wrote "free to a good home" on a piece of cardboard and left my clubs in front of the clubhouse back home. Of course, halfway to the 7-11, I had a moment of clarity and shouted, "What have I done!"
I did a u-turn in the road, had two police officers chasing me, who after stopping me and me telling them what I had done, they took their sun glasses off, put their heads down, shook them and said, "How could you? You don't even deserve to grip a six iron. Next time call us….We'll give you an escort."
When I got back to the clubhouse there they were. I jumped out of my car in a slow motion run, with a tear in my eye as I was reunited with my beloved clubs, whispering softly, "I'll never leave you again."
Unfortunately for my clubs, I lied because the next day I threw my pitching wedge in the swamp. May he rest in peace.
My point being, if you love golf as much as I do then you know what I'm talking about. There's one obvious truth to come out of this: John Daly propaganda- televised golf needs John Daly.
We are tired of the same 'ole clean cut family man images that the PGA makes its players abide by (with exceptions to Woods).
We need John Daly passing out drunk behind hooters, which is even funnier considering Hooters is his biggest sponsor, and John Daly you need golf. Who else is going to pay for all the alcohol you consume and your gambling debts?
That being said, we'll conclude today's ceremony with a quote of wisdom from Mr. Daly:"I've learned you can't drink whisky and play golf," truly, truly inspirational.
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